Oppai

Hello AAA Podcast, sorry to have been away but odd times here. I am back, and I am devouring Anime at a ravenous pace. I do believe that the hosts have succeeded in making my anime addiction worse!!!!!! Ok, so there is only one podcast that can claim the title – Best Anime Podcast Ever, and that is of course this podcast with its wonderful hosts and members. This being said, there are other podcasts I listen to and of the ones that I respect – a lot of buzz has gone on about Manyuu Hikenchou. To explain where I am going with this, I have to discuss a particular genre of anime and film for that matter and book for that matter that I enjoy. Did I say video game for that matter? You see, I suffer from Samurai Motte Oppai syndrome. Let’s take a trip back to a time far far away. Probably one of my first indications that I had developed this ailment would have been when I saw Conan the Barbarian or possibly Excalibur (FOOL!). I am laughing at this moment as you are thinking about the anime but I am talking about the movies. I am laughing at this moment because you are thinking of the new movies yet I am thinking of the original Conan with Arnold Schwarzenegger and James Earl Jones as well as John Boorman’s classic Excalibur (F-O-O-L!) with Nigel Terry and Helen Mirren.

 It was at this point that movies started following comic books and providing the ultimate representation of the female warrior. Yes, the Amazonian Warrior Princess!!!!! (Angelic Choir Singing Erupts) While most of you are quite used to this concept – until then, women were usually rescued. They certainly didn’t wear armor and brandish broadswords to hack guy’s faces and other irritating parts off. Ok – there was Joan of Arc long before but do we really know anything about her chest?

Around this same time, Canada released what I will always feel is the closest thing North America has ever done to anime – Heavy Metal in 1981. Even though this movie had a very american story line, the artwork was anime in style and what came out of this film? The almighty jaw dropping Taarna. So, in a span of a couple of years we had: Valeria – the sword wielding amazonian goddess who stole Conan’s heart. We had Igrayne and the classic medieval armor scene when Uther tricks her (if you have seen this movie, you KNOW what scene I am talking about). Finally, we had the 90% naked Taarna who survives all odds to behead the barbarians after she is raped by all of them.

This was an amazing time for female characters and the syndrome was born. Think of other female characters who have spawned due to this syndrome – Xena for sure (although I prefer Gabrielle – who need I say it was an Amazonian Princess). How about Sparrow from Forbidden Kingdom? Zen from Chocolate or “Fury” (You should watch this if you haven’t). Yu Shu Lien from Crouching Tiger. The OMG hot Miho from Sin City. The totally desirable Selene from Underworld. Heck, even Mulan and Elizabeth Swann from the Disney’s movies. The list goes on and on and on and of course Anime and video games are filled with these types of characters. They are the lifeblood for anime watchers who suffer from Samurai Motte Oppai Syndrome.

Wow – I have been rambling, as I tend to do and I warned you in my first podcast that I would. What was I talking about? Oh yes, warriors with swords and breasts!!!! I was hearing all of the chatter about Manyuu Hickenchou and I thought to myself – “COOL!!!!!!!!! Huh Huh Huh Huh – they said its a show about boobs – Huh Huh Huh Huh”. It’s like all of the people got together in a room and said, “you know, we skirt around this issue a lot, um can’t we just state the obvious?” Wow, what a concept!!!!!! Really, what’s the big deal? How is this any different from an anime most feel guilty watching Rurou no Senshi or the more well know title Queen’s Blade? Yes, I must say that while I don’t plan to own it, Queen’s Blade was an entertaining romp through the anime world. In the first episode, I was subjected to more wrong ideas than should ever be indulged and the main villain of the episode, dare I say it, used her breasts as weapons to try and kill the beloved heroin Leina. My eyes burned, I wanted to turn away but alas I couldn’t! Heck, there were boobs and swords – what was I supposed to do????? “Nosh – its cool, we accept that you are a perv. We shall pity you and place you over there to watch out of the corner of our eye while we continue with our discussions.”

Well, now that I have 10 episodes behind me, I cannot believe what I am going to say. Manyuu Hikenchou makes Queen’s Blade look like Princess Mononoke! Ok, maybe that’s a little over the top but wow! At least Queen’s Blade had a plot! It had drama, it had Leina wanting to follow her own path and find her on way! In Manyuu, Chifusa is not unlike Leina in that she doesn’t agree with her family’s direction and she wants to change things. She is tragic in that she doesn’t want her huge boobs and hates it when they grow larger! This story could go places. Unfortunately, the story is about boobs – no really – that’s it. Taking them away and gaining them back. Grabbing them, swaying them, everything involving the chest of a female warrior. How could my syndrome betray me in such a cruel way? I find it a very very bitter pill to jam into my retina!

In closing, I have to say that in this case new is not better. If you suffer from Samurai Motte Oppai syndrome – first, you are not alone. Second, there are plenty of wonderful anime titles that can help you with your ailment. Heck, give Queen’s Blade a try – the ending is worth the wait. And if you crave something of more substance than Manyuu Hikenchou – there are always more wholesome titles such as Ikki Tousen or Master of Martial Hearts.

Until next time….

Nosh