Fiction Friday: Japans in Talks about Hair Policy

Disclaimer: The following is a work of fiction for the use of parody only. Any data or events cited are most likely pure fabrication. Please read for enjoyment and the satirical viewpoint, not for facts.

In order to help many teens inJapanfind their special someone, The Japanese government is in talks to make it mandatory for women to dye their hair certain colors to depict their “type.” In a world where anime girls are seen with multi-colored hair many men have a hard time “conquering” girls due to not knowing their “type.” To combat this, the idea of making the world more like a Galge game (Japanese dating simulators for men) was randomly thrown out during a congressional meeting. After hours of talking about ideas like having classes on dating or actually paying girls a salary to go out with a man, the previous idea was talked about as a joke, then became a serious topic as time progressed.

It is already a stereotype that any male with blonde hair is a delinquent so many officials see the hair color bill, also known as “Hairy Situation,” as an obvious choice. Some of the proposed colors and traits are Red hair for hot-blooded girls, Blonde hair for either rich or dumb girls, and blue for shy girls. There are also talks of making women wear clothes associated with their personality, such as a sports get-up for athletic girls and thick-frame glasses and school uniform for brainy girls. Look out for more on this topic as more information is disclosed.

Sarcastically,

~~Z-ComiX